So I was reading Ephesians and man was it exactly what I needed to hear. It was a rebuke, conviction, and call to forgiveness from God. I mean even the subtitle for the chapter read in my bible: Of forgiveness.
What I got from it was go before Jesus humbled seeking his compassion and forgiveness for the bitterness I have in my heart towards the person I cannot seem to forgive than go before that person and speak of what they did to cause that bitterness, but speak the truth in love. (Eph.4:15) Forgiveness renews the spirit of our mind (4:23) we have to be willing to allow God to destroy that bitterness, we have to come to the place in our lives where we are able to offer up all that bitterness, pain, and any other feelings associated with the trespass to Jesus so that he can take it and destroy it.(2:30-31) That, I feel, is how we are able to forgive. Because that trespass is poison to us, to our spirit, our compassion, our calling in Christ. It fills us until it hardens our heart and makes us forget the love we are called to have for every one of God's creatures. But above all we have to come resolved before Jesus, ready to let go of that pain, because Jesus gives us the ability to forgive but it is up to us has people to be continuously kind to that person we're forgiving, Jesus has already forgiven them (if they asked) for what they have done to us, just as he has forgiven us of what we have done against him. But we also are called to forgive because we are called to have unity in the one body of Christ (4:4-5) our bitterness towards that person is cause disunity. We have been given strength from God, but we have to supply a certain amount of action in order to accept that strength and diligence, in order to exert our compassion onto that person who's hurt us the most, in order to pray for that persons well being and steadfast in the faith. That takes effort on our part, a wiliness to be kind to them, to love them as God loves us.