Tuesday, March 25, 2014

works of the Lord

When the Lord says be patient and wait for me to answer your prayers he is not kidding. And when he told me that the retreat would continue down the mountain he was not kidding! I not only got to fellowship with my dad tonight for about an hour but with my mom too! Since like 4:00pm we have just been sharing what the Lord has spoken to us, and man the way God orchestrated it all, I mean we were just watching the bible series on the t.v and whenever God put something on our hearts we would pause the show and just start talking. Eventually by the second pause we just stopped pressing play and she really opened up to me. I wanted to pray with her but I felt like it wasn't the right time and I was also extremely terrified. But...just thought I'd share that with you guys because you know, I just can't contain myself when God works. 

Monday, March 24, 2014

post retreat lows

Man you guys. I was really bummed this morning. I just came back from a most wonderful retreat where the Son of God just moved in waves and I thought I was, you know, ready to conquer the world. I was wrong. 
My early morning prayer was interpreted by the clock. And I was so incredibly tired, like you have no idea you I was so discouraged. I prayed every second I was driving to school and waiting for my teacher and if just felt so wrong being there. I was aching to be before Jesus the way I was over the weekend. And really in agony that I wasn't able to devote every fiber of my being to talking to Jesus, worshipping him and just being before his face in awe. I seriously was thinking maybe I don't belong in school and I was praying about dropping out even and just joining the peace corps now. But now I am feeling so blessed you guys. First I received a gas card out of blue which is something my brother has been in need of and at first I was I'm not even allowed to use A&P so I tried to get into the word but it was just like reading a book and that just was heartbreaking that I couldn't hear Jesus's voice so clearly. So I prayed and Jesus just reminded me of what Ryan was saying his wife did, look up a meaningful verse. And I've never really done that since coming to The Lord I figured God will bring a verse to me while I'm reading my bible, but I tried it. And was so convicted that I almost started weeping right here in Starbucks. It was in a list of 20 verses and all of a sudden boom Jesus spoke. (Romans 15:13) May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. And he just asked me, you know in that loving joyful way of his. 'Where is your joy my beloved? Are you so little in faith that you have already forgotten to look for me? Have I not promised you I would be beside you walking as you walk, sitting where you sit? I warned you rejoining the world would break your heart. Where is your humility, where are the tears for the suffering you shed on that mountain, where is my disciple so willing to be used so open to the gifts I have given you? Where is your joy?' 
And you guys can imagine my reaction right, just completely broken. I mean honestly, talk about a potter crushing his clay teapot. So I just lift up you sisters in prayer and if you struggling as I was and still am with how to deal with coming back to the world after that awe inspiring weekend I just would ask you Jesus to speak to us, each of our contrite hearts, break us, convict us, bring to our minds the things that are causing distance from us, and in your holy name Jesus rebuke Satan's hold on all you beloveds. Thank you for your grace God and the limitless love we still can't fully grasp. May the full joy of spirit of Jesus be with you my sisters. Amen. 

Friday, March 21, 2014

on unrighteous judgement

Romans 2:
So I was reading Romans 2 and man God was just revealing to me my heart. That is has been petty, unforgiving, unloving, and just hardened by bitterness. I have been judging the people of this world, my teachers and fellow Christians and this chapter has just made me realize how wrong it is of me and why. We have to hold people accountable for their actions because that is what keeps us on that narrow path and before God. But if we never pour out our hearts convictions to that person, if we bring to their knowledge what their actions look to the world on a surface level than we are doing them no good. They may be ignorant of the things that they are doing and how the unrighteousness of it is distancing them from God. But we are not, we differentiate from what is ungodly and what is righteous. We are not ignorant and so we judge. But where this becomes a sin is by not doing anything to help them, God gave his beloveds the gift of wisdom, to know him if we so choose. Our judgements than of other people become as Romans 2:1 says inexcusable, we become condemned to the judgement of God for our judging of his people because we at some point in our lives have done the same thing the people we are judging are doing. And if we hadn't had someone who was in the word and who saw the unrighteousness of our ignorant deeds but not the righteousness of our hearts than they never would have came to us  and said hey this thing that your doing it isn't right, it isn't according to the word of God. That takes love. Doing something for the betterment of another person. 

Thursday, March 20, 2014

caution to the wind

 I Kings 12:24:
God's people were divided, in disunion amongst who should be King, Solomon's son Rehoboam or Jeroboam. But God because of Solomon's disobedience had already taken the throne from David's seed temporally. And so it was that thousands of chosen warriors were sent to fight against the house of Israel until The Lord spoke to a man of faith Shemaiah and told him not to take up arms and fight against his brethren but to return every warrior to his tent for God said "this thing is from me." And the assembled warriors "hearkened therefore the word of the Lord, and returned to depart, according to the word of the Lord."(12:24) 
I thought I would share just how amazing this verse seemed to me. How it convicted me. How often I doubt when The Lord speaks to me. I never thought I was doing this but this verse just showed me that I have been lately so cautious. I don't want to do anything that isn't of the Lord so I second guess myself. I tell myself pray on it more, and it's not a particularly bad thing it's just that if God has confirmed something for me so clearly once than I shouldn't allow myself the time to be cautious. I should do as these warriors of God did hearken God's voice and depart from the humanity in me that is telling me what if it is not of The Lord. I think it may be because I have just come out of a time of not praying that I feel like in a way I forgotten what it feels like to know when God has confirmed something for me. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Of forgiveness

Eph. 4:
So I was reading Ephesians and man was it exactly what I needed to hear. It was a rebuke, conviction, and call to forgiveness from God. I mean even the subtitle for the chapter read in my bible: Of forgiveness. 
What I got from it was go before Jesus humbled seeking his compassion and forgiveness for the bitterness I have in my heart towards the person I cannot seem to forgive than go before that person and speak of what they did to cause that bitterness, but speak the truth in love. (Eph.4:15) Forgiveness renews the spirit of our mind (4:23) we have to be willing to allow God to destroy that bitterness, we have to come to the place in our lives where we are able to offer up all that bitterness, pain, and any other feelings associated with the trespass to Jesus so that he can take it and destroy it.(2:30-31) That, I feel, is how we are able to forgive. Because that trespass is poison to us, to our spirit, our compassion, our calling in Christ. It fills us until it hardens our heart and makes us forget the love we are called to have for every one of God's creatures. But above all we have to come resolved before Jesus, ready to let go of that pain, because Jesus gives us the ability to forgive but it is up to us has people to be continuously kind to that person we're forgiving, Jesus has already forgiven them (if they asked) for what they have done to us, just as he has forgiven us of what we have done against him. But we also are called to forgive because we are called to have unity in the one body of Christ (4:4-5) our bitterness towards that person is cause disunity. We have been given strength from God, but we have to supply a certain amount of action in order to accept that strength and diligence, in order to exert our compassion onto that person who's hurt us the most, in order to pray for that persons well being and steadfast in the faith. That takes effort on our part, a wiliness to be kind to them, to love them as God loves us. 

Thursday, March 13, 2014

in depth

So lately guys I have just been going through it. Spiritual as well as physical trails and oppressions. ( I'll spare the details for the sake of this text) Anyway God just gave me (or opened my eyes to) the most wonderful gift!! We all have different ways that we do our in depth studies, but lately it seems like I haven't known how (or Satan made me forget) how to study God's word. But this morning God taught me again using my Grandpa's guidance. It was like God giving me back this huge piece of him. I have this paper from him that goes in depth on a verse in Job and I never really "read it", you know. But it just taught me how the understand a verse. So I tested it. (Marvel-mazing, these times call for two spliced together words) God just sent me back to a verse I had been tinkering with for a bit. 
So I found this biblical dictionary for KJV bibles online and looked first at knowledge, how it applied solely to the context of Genesis, how it differed from wisdom because I learned there is a huge(!!) difference. Then I defined good, evil, and what it biblically (in that context) means to die. 
And so I came away with the interpretation of:
By eating of the tree?we acquired (knowledge) both the best and worse (good&evil) qualities that are both natural and and moral in kind. These qualities corrupted the purity that came from God when he breathed life into us. The tree therefore held the disease (shalt surely die) by which our pure spirits died. And yet...(sounds like a tv aid "but wait there's more..." :-))
The Spiritual/emotional meaning behind it:
God in this verse shows us yet again of his love for us. For because he has known us from the beginning and because he did not allow our spirits to remain dead but sent a reviver (Jesus) than he has had to have loved us from the beginning. And if this was the greatest betrayal humanity could do against God and God's love was strong enough to forgive this betrayal than all other betrayals can be forgiven to if we chose (for humans were given free will, but that's an in depth for another time) to believe that the ugliness of our sins have already been paid for.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

going in depth with the psalms:

So guys I have decided to start a series; an in depth breakdown of the Psalms. Basically it will be how certain verses spoke to me, or my interpretation of the verses. Sometimes I will go verse by verse, other times I will combine a couple verses. Either way I am not beginning at chapter 1 but rather will do some sort of haphazard tackling of the Psalms


Ps. 119:9:
The Bible is out guide, one of God's many gifts to his people. We should be placing our heart before Jesus jus as our actions should be held up to the light of his word's righteousness. The Bible offers solace, answers to questions, but also convicts us when we are wrong, or straying from Jesus. 
We should be completely submitted to not just Jesus's will for us but to the Bible's words. We cannot pick and choose which Commandment fits into this world and which do not. Rev. 22:18-19 tells us we are not able to add or subtract from the word of God, if the words are in the Bible they were conveyed to the prophets and disciples for a reason. 
Ps. 119:11-14:
Jesus gives us verses that mean more (in the sense that they were spoken to by that verse) to one Christian than to another because Jesus knows our hearts are different just as we as humans are different, spiritually and physically. We all have verses that we keep inside of us and remind ourselves of during tribulations, repeating God's words out loud is powerful and we take comfort and joy in knowing that we are being continuously prepared and molded into the person Jesus foresaw us becoming. Because he who can take criticism from The Lord and allow that critique to change their hearts will gain a sustainable wisdom, humility, and reverence of the living God. 
The way God speaks to us varies in accordance to his will, sometimes it is direct, sometimes he rises up a fellow Christian to convey his message, signs etc but then their are the times when he seeks to reveal something to us through his word. We are called to mediate by pondering his word in reflection and great joy knowing that this one book has all the answers to all the mysteries of the world. 
God chooses when to reveal these mysteries to us based on how far each of us are in our walk with him. But we all are delighted in his word because of the solace and wisdom it brings. We strive to memorize verses that impacted us so that perhaps we can convey some encouragement to our brothers and sisters in Christ so that through us Jesus can strengthen their walks. However we are also called to never forget the word, where we came from, that we were once that new believer. That simply because we now may understand more, or intellectually grasp the Bible more than that newly born-again Christian does, doesn't make us better than them. No human is greater than another, and no humans gifts are more prestigious than another. If anything we should look to the new believers for their fire is like a child's, the are excited in the word, excited that their eyes have been opened after having been blind for so long. But really we are cautioned not to forget the word because of its reminders and instructions on how to lively a Godly life, that we are to love every human equally because Jesus was greater than us all and he humbled himself simply so that we could connect with him and by connecting empathetically we could come to him, open our hearts and accept his gifts.