Friday, December 27, 2013


"In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;" (Eph. 1:7)

If ever you need to be reassured you are loved unboundedly look to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. We sinned and held in contempt our Creator only divine sacrifice could save a people from that debt. And oh Lord how I am ever grateful for that love for it is ever easy to fall and be lost to this world. I am ever endeared when I read your gospels and as Jesus wept for the heart broken Jews and Gentiles over Lazarus's body so do I weep for the state of this world. It needs submission Jesus and yet the people he saved refuse him. They have no room for him, lives get busy, work gets harder, wine or cigarettes taste better and are sought after vigorously. Hearts are hardened and the words of God are forgotten, fall to deaf ears, or  disregarded. We are human, we fall but just because we fall it does not mean we ought to stay on the ground. Humility blinds a persons soul by breaking their pride. Jesus answers the prayers of the broken hearted, weeps with us and takes away the desire to taste the sweetness of wine. 

Wednesday, December 25, 2013


"...and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said into the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." (Mark 4:38-39) We humans are impatient, we grow discouraged when things are not going to plan and fear the undefinable. Jesus did not say let us go half way across the sea and drown he said "Let us pass over unto the other side."(Mark 4:35)  But when horrible occurrences seem to go on unnoticed our faith wavers, we want immediate action, most of us(myself included) do not have the persistence to continue week after month praying for the same thing. But God does His work according to His standard of time not ours. It is just so wondrous that God sees something inside each and every one of us that to Him makes us worthy of His love. There is this feeling of calm that resides in Gods love. A feeling of completeness in submission to Him. He saw us suffering and He decided we were worth more than the death we deserved. Our sin kept us from an intimate relationship with Him so He gave this world a perfect sacrifice just so we may know Him. We are able to speak to the Creator through Jesus. Our prayers no longer fall to deaf ears. How amazing it feels to know there is someone out there that so in love with us that He know all our flaws, lies, greed, and disrespect towards Him then choses to forget all about them. We have an everlasting free slate through Jesus. He is our most precious gift and He is free of charge. All you have to do is answer His call. Close your eyes and think Jesus. Just say the word over and over again until you feel something because trust me your cries will be heard and if your heart is breaking Jesus will come to soothe it. You say simple words to Jesus. He already knows your life story, we are all on the same playing field with God. And that is so spectacular, there is no color of skin or accent of voice that is unpleasing to Gods ears. For He made us all therefore we all must be models of perfection. If you call to Jesus and He answers (for He shall) and you are thinking "Oh my what's next?" Forgiveness. Tell Him you have sinned against Him, ask for His forgiveness, your submission to Him is all Jesus needs to enter your heart and engulf you in love. Acknowledge Jesus as your Savior, tell Him you believe in Him, that you wish to be saved from the dead weight of your sin. This is not an acceptance of church institutions but and acceptance of love. Being a Christian doesn't make a person any less human you will still want to sin, you still will sin it is just now you can fall onto your face before Christ and ask that He changes you. Because we are human, fragile, in need of love and forgiveness. We cannot fix ourselves, we cannot stop our addictions from overruling us only Jesus has the power to help us. Setting aside our pride allows us to submit wholly to Him which allows Him to change our hearts.  

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

the truths of the world

"And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" John 8:32
I've never really had one favorite Bible verse, but this one is...everything. If you could sum up how a Christian feels when they read the Bible this would be it, we are reading the truth. What a weight that is to know that the God of the universe created a book and told the world's peoples that they no longer have to be curious or live in ignorance. Is it not just awe inspiring to know that God knew from the beginning that we would seek the truths of this world, that because we are humans and faulty we would doubt. This one line no matter how many times you say it out loud holds its weight. It declares the words of the Bible to be the truth. How wonderful, merciful, joyous. Not only does God loves us much that He sent Jesus to free us from the chains of our sins because He wanted an intimate and personal relationship with us but He gave all the truths of the world. I was once told that words have power because once written they can't be unwritten. Never has that seemed more true, I never noticed the power the words of the Bible has until I went to prayer last Sunday and heard them read out loud. And I know I've heard the Bible read aloud before it's just that this felt like I was hearing the truth in them for the first time. It just amazes me how this is the only book ever written that no matter how many times you read the same verses it always holds new meaning, gives us new enlightenments. It breaks my heart that their are people out ready to give up on life believing what philosophers told them is the truth that their actions have made them deformed or unlovable. That their eyes have so clouded as to see only the pain of this world that they think it better to destroy the most precious thing God gave them than to give in to the truth. Because with giving in you give away yourself, you chose to accept a certain amount of blind faith. But really their is no blind faith with Jesus is there? Their is blind faith in believing in Evolution because you can't physically observe a primate changing species. But their is power when truthful words are written, unlike the Qur'an truthful words can be translated into any language and still retain its power. That their are people out their today being so oppressed by Satan and his dark numbness that they cannot see Jesus's light or his truth is so convicting for me. God didn't just give me the truths of the World but He gave them to the world. And Gods' made me realize that I have been coveting them. 

Sunday, December 15, 2013

heavy is the Word of God

"It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life." John 6:63
"Then Jesus said to the twelve, "Do you also want to go away?" But Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life." John 6:67-68
Heavy are those words yet light is the heart that hears them and understands there heaviness as power. For our power comes from the Holy Spirit and our strength comes from Jesus and His almighty grace. We are chosen selected by His hand, let that settle in us Oh Lord for we can so easily be swept from your mercy and placed in this world. We never realize just how far we are gone until our hearts break until we fall to our faces so humbled it is all we can do but weep. That sort of weeping that steals the air in your lungs, where you don't make a sound but tears rush from your eyes, your knees hit the floor and suddenly you are alone begging for His forgiveness. You never realize you've fallen until you are completely humbled you may notice your descent feel like you've stopped it but that is Satan giving you false confidence. Satan is humanities adversary he craves our destruction leads us into darkness through the choices we make when we are faced with temptation. Take comfort knowing he was defeated by God, fast from Heaven but be weary for he was an angel he knows exactly which temptation we fall prey to every time, he is our worst adversary because he knows our fleshs' desires. We all fall, it is when we believe we stopped our descent by our own merit that we realize how incomplete we feel. And it is not because we have failed The Lord or His test that we begin to feel that void again, because we are humans, faulty imperfect sinners. We feel lost because that flame we so coveted became an ember again. The Lord's forgiveness is absolute and immediate if you want it, if you ache for it, if you come humbled before Him he we'll freely restore you. But climbing back to where you were takes time, getting back to your flame takes diligence, takes your spiritual desire for intimacy with your Lord. And that cannot be masked, faked, or rushed. We humans move slow and so doesn't our recoveries but our God is patient He shall wait. 

Thursday, December 5, 2013


"Blessed is he who reads and those who hear... For the time is near."(Rev.1:3) "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Begining and the End," says The Lord, "Who is and was and who is to come, the almighty." (Rev.1:8) There are certain verses in the Bible you just sing mentally, right? Half of the psalms and this line. I grew up on this line, that is how my childhood can be amounted to: random alternating beach and Disneyland trips, the old songs of the gospel choir and the country music of Garth brooks, willie Nelson and the Dixie chicks.  I knew the Lords Prayer by the time I was in either kindergarten or first grade. Love going to my grandmas church on Easter because men and women white choir robes with golden stitched crosses, coordinating bells would sing The Lord of The Dance. An old best friend of mine once told me if she didn't know would have thought my life was plucked from one of Norman Rockwell's paintings. The problem was none of that helped me because I didn't know a thing about God, I didn't know Jesus at all. And so when things went wrong in my life Satan used my ignorance to get me to blame my Lord. At the time I didn't think think oppression was real, that demons were just stories my father would tell me to keep me from lying. I was a girl who could quote lines for days but would feel nothing and didn't even own a Bible. That is not faith it is an obligation, a chore my parents had inflicted onto me. And don't get me wrong in many ways I am so grateful for being raised in a Christian home, my life was and wasn't extremely blessed but it could have been a lot worse. It is just that God is bringing me back things of my past for reasons He has yet to enlighten me of. But one thing God has really showed me is that I truly believed I was saved, I knew, it was a self-evident fact that I was going to Heaven when I died. But I never openly or internally said I believed in Jesus as I do now. I was perfectly fine not reading the Bible, not knowing a thing about the the God of the universe. It was like the pop Urban II had offered me plenary indulgence, I could be as evil as I wanted say I'm sorry and be forgiven. Forgiveness doesn't work like that, repentance requires that you are openly aware of your sin, see the need to change and ache for that change. It is always just to awesome when I read my Bible now, or talk to God. I can hear Him everywhere and I never had that before. I can feel Him, love the feeling I get when I'm doing something and there's this pounding inside my chest telling me to open my Bible, talk to that person or just say Yes God? 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Nails to A Cross:

"You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship," John 4:22 
"God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." John 4:24
How amazing it feels to know that there is truth out there. Self-evident and unsurpassable. How awe inspiring, how liberating that we no longer have to search for the truths of this world. The void is gone, God is truth and how right that seems, feels and sounds. Like the declaring of a fact. We are saved from the condemnation we deserve, we are loved when it is justifiable to be cast off. Our prayers are heard for we are touched by His spirit and as we crave Him, He aches for us. Gathers around us when our hearts scream when we doubt our strength. There are not enough words, no definable way to proclaim my gratitude, He saved me from the oppression of Satan's grasp. Plucked me from the darkness and set me in the light, now at night I look to the stars inside of shadows around me. We are saved and now I can hardly recall the justifications I gave for doing the things I did. I remember my actions, remember feeling like I had no choice, was compelled to do it and couldn't ever hope to stop. I remember those things how it felt, the rushes, the crashes, the depression like rip-tides pulling me under into a bottomless pit. All my shameful deeds, everything that makes me imperfect, faulty, unworthy does not matter to my Lord. He was there with me through every conscious action but I asked He forgives and no longer remembers them. When I look back on my life and watch myself commit trespasses against my Lord it is like I am watching someone with my face do things that would make even the hardest hearts cringe. And the is the most wonderful feeling knowing their is someone out there who knows every little lie you told and every horrible thing you've done and "...has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." Col. 2:14 This is one of my most favorite verses, how marvelous it feels to just hear it repeated out loud. Like the power and love of the Holy Spirit is washing over you.